Discharge from the Hospital and Diagnosis
9/9/2003

My recovery didn't go as quickly as anticipated...every rotation of a new nurse brought questions of medication. Each nurse had a list and the list was wrong. I was overmedicated on a few counts and my vision was blurred and double. I ended up staying in the hospital 2 days longer than expected.

Back to diagnosis:
They expected to have the pathology of the tumor by Saturday; that didn't happen. We finally got the results on Monday. Those two days were the darkest and most frieghtning days of my life, waiting to know whether you have a benign or malignent brain tumor is disconcernting. Monday Dr. Raizer came in and sat with Erik, my mom, and me. First bad news, there is a remaining enchance "membrane" left in my brain, perhaps the size of a pea but crescent shaped. Second bad news, although they orginally thought it was a benign menengioma, the pathology proved it was a glioblastoma multiforme grade IV. The prevailing theory is that since the tumor began at to the dura (the outermost membrane of the brain) and was pushing into the brain, that it began at a menengioma. So, the theory is that perhaps it began this way, has been around perhaps 5-10 years, and evolved into a glioblastoma malignant. Unfortunately, neither my neuro-oncologist nor my neuro-surgereon have seen anything like this before and can't find anything in the journals similar. The new theory is that since it is so irregular and unique, that perhaps the unique protocal we have chosen with zap the heck out of it and irradicate it. That's the plan. The good news, both doctors said that with the surgery, gamma knife, chemo, and radiation, I should be around for a very long time. That is all I needed to hear and the only statistics I have allowed for them to tell me...I have read the internet and know about the statistics and they are not very good. However, I am young, healthy, have a good positive attitude - this thing is not going to get the best of me. I am taking the doctors word, I am going to be around for a long time. Statistics are just that, numbers without names.

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