Post MRI & Post Second Round of Chemo
12/4/2003

The MRI results were very good. My neuro-oncologist said he was very pleased with the results. My radiation-oncologist said it is her opinion that there is no visible residual tumor or disease. There still is a bit of enhancement in the cavity where the tumor was, which can be interpreted at scar tissue, dead cells, or tumor. So I suppose it's good that she said that, but nerve-racking when there is something still visible on the scan. I had hoped for nothing visible at all, well except for the rest of my brain of course! This Tuesday coming up, I have an appointment with my neuro-surgeon...he better be prepared because I am going in armed with a billion questions. Overall, I'm happy with the results, but very guarded at the same time. I was warned about the time in between MRI's, it's as though you go about your life meanwhile there is something potentially growing inside your brain and won't know until your next scan 2-3 months later. I suppose anyone with cancer would feel the same, it's a waiting game. The time in between will be challenging - perhaps that is exactly the time when true living occurs and I will find my purpose in life.

Second round of chemo was a bear. Three times the strength of the first round for 5 days (5 days on 23 days off every month from now until, well, as long as I am around). Slept for nearly 2 days straight after the 5 days. Last night I went to my first support group for brain tumor patients and one patient said she pretty much schedules her life around her chemo, knowing what it takes out of you. I suppose that is what is in store for me. But sleeping for 2-3 days straight every month is well worth it if it allows me to stick around!

I mentioned the support group, it was really nice to meet people experiencing the same or at least similar issues as myself. The group consisted of people with all types of brain tumors. There happened to be 2 other patients with GBM, very helpful to hear their stories. Simultanous to my group was a group for care-givers/spouses that Erik went to. I believe he got a lot out of it as well. It's important right now for both of us be able to talk to people who can relate and understand some of the issues we face.

We are in the thick of the holiday season!!! So easy to forget...I need to remind my self more often.
WISHING EVERYONE A JOYOUS AND PEACEFUL HOLIDAY - giving lots of presents, getting lots of presents, and most importantly sharing precious precious time with loved one, the true gift of them all.

ps. Thanks for everyone remembering our birthdays (we are actually one day apart, so cute isn't it?), and to my mom who brilliantly sneaked it in her posting that day ;)

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